Let’s talk Depression

I’m new to Depression.

I was a happy kid and was blessed with a great childhood.

Up until about 2014, I was content with my life and a happy go lucky kind of guy but then suffered depression following the loss of 3 loved ones in a relatively short time period and never quite got over it.

In 2015, I was institutionalised three times and am now on happy pills.

Much to my disappointment that I need chemicals to get through each and every day.

The hard part though is that I do need to talk to someone but I just don’t know who or how.

The Doctor I see is useless and just loves the sound of his own voice and just makes digs at my psychotic delusions of the past.

I want to talk to my family but my Dad has Alzheimers and my Mum works hard and to be honest even talking to my brother I just don’t want to put people down with my negative thinking.

I don’t want to be this sad sap and I don’t know how to explain that I’m frightened to meet with people socially.

How do you tell people that for the first time in 30 years, I feel like a loser.

I feel unworthy and possess a deep feeling of sadness in the pit of my stomach.

 

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27 thoughts on “Let’s talk Depression

  1. My grandpa had Alzheimer’s, I can sympathize there, I’ve dealt w depression for about 9 years, no meds, though I would say that in the long run maybe I need to be on them, it’s funny cause in my situation going out and being social is a simple cure to MOST of the issue but ultimately it’s the absolute last thing that I want to do. Double edged sword, as for the feelings of depreciated self worth..that’s an illusion man, you may feel like a loser or however you worded it but you’d be amazed at the insecurities that exist in those who we hold to high esteem or regard. If you’re like me you may fixate on stuff, and when I fixate on quantifying my sense of self worth I end up digging a pit and just burying myself…don’t sweat it man, I’d say that unless someone in particular brings it up its not a thing that figured into their evaluation of you.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Dear Liam! Life can be so tough, it’s not always easy. If you are a loser, then we are all losers. Thank you for sharing and being honest with your thoughts and feelings. I don’t trust meds, but everyone needs to decide what they think is best for them.

    I’ll check in from time to time to see how you’re doing.
    Blessings!!

    ❤ carmen

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hang in there, Liam
    “This too shall pass.”

    All the best
    craig

    PS
    “From the depth of the valleys, in the deserts of despair, there is hope… as there is the unquenchable oasis, the immense breadth and depth of the human spirit… unbroken…always.”
    from https://craigsquotes.wordpress.com/2015/07/10/from-the-depth-of-the-valleys-in-the-deserts-of-despair-there-is-hope-as-there-is-the-unquenchable-oasis-the-immense-breadth-and-depth-of-the-human-spirit-always/

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tumbling Maddie

    For me it’s the writing, it’s my only release. I think even though we talk to people around is they never really ‘get’ it. Some do, but not all.

    Depression sucks, but you’re not alone, especially not here, there are many others in the same boat can assist, usually just by the words they write on a page.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I have not met you so I do not know you, but I do know depression, and I had a grandmother who had Alzheimer’s, a grandfather who had Lou Garrets disease and it has been a few years since I lost my mother to a massive stroke. Caring for loved ones who are suffering can really weigh you down and leave you feeling depressed and worthless. But you have great worth! Especially to those you love. I will not say that things will get easier, but do not give up. I have had my battle with depression and low self worth for years, but I am still here and even when I have wanted to give up, and let myself drown in my depression I eventually kick my own but and make myself get up and face another day. I won’t say the battle is over for me yet but I am better today than I was a year ago and even better than years ago. If you ever need the ear of a stranger to listen and not judge drop me a line. You may not feel like it but you will make it through this, the journey may be long and bumpy. Julie

    Liked by 2 people

  6. You don’t have to explain anything to anybody.
    The most important thing is getting all those thoughts out of your head. If it helps writing it here, just do it as much as you need…
    Here you’ll find people who understand what you are going through…
    And by the way, you should (if you can) find another doctor.
    Depression and anxiety often go hand in hand, but there is a way out. As Sheppaja wrote ” the journey may be long and bumpy”… but you will reach your final destination.
    Everything you are going through will make you a stronger person.
    Be patient with yourself, that is all that matters.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What can I say? I’m sorry about everything that sucks right now/the fact that everything feels sucky right now. Offering up a quick prayer if that happens to mean anything to you. It’s cool that you are writing about where you’re at. It’s brave and it’s cool 🙂

    I’m here because you dropped by my blog; glad you did and that I’m here.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. As a long time suffer of depression, I can tell you, you WILL feel alive again. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how insanely, mind numbingly difficult, one day you will look back and wonder why you felt that way. Depression fuckin’ sucks but every emotion is temporary, even the ones that seem like they never end.
    If you ever need to talk or complain or just need an ear to bend, let me know. ✌🏻️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s hard, I know. I’ve dealt with it for longer than I can remember. Like Sarah said, it does pass. The most important thing, I think, is to remember that. It passes. But–and this is a big “but”–if may come back. Always remember to never stop taking your meds without medical supervision, and to enjoy the good days. On the bad days, all you have to do is make it through. Go easy on yourself. You found me at my blog; feel free to message me there any time you want to talk as well. Peace be with you, my friend. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hello Liam. Just read this post and your story hit me. I’ve been in and out of happiness ss in the last few months and it starting to get a little tiring. But my struggle is nothing compared to what you’ve been through. You are a brave man to face and accept what you’re feeling. Personally, the hardest part of it all is to admit that we are also vulnerable to sadness when life throws us some not-so-good surprises. Not sure if I’m making sense, but I want to thank you for sharing your story because many of us no longer feel alone and isolated and crazy.

    This inspires me to write again, not only about my struggles but also my little celebrations – random stuff and events that make me happy.

    Hope you’re better. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

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